my birthday

Hi everyone,

Well today’s the day June fifth! Twenty seven years ago the world changed for the better LOL!

I came into my birthday with really not a lot of expectations. Due to stuff being kinda uneasy at home with a family member’s illness job changes for my Dad recent surgery for my mom I hadn’t asked for or expected much in the way of presents or money or anything. When things calmed down with all the crisis over the past couple weeks my mom tried to get me talking about birthday stuff. But I didn’t push it I really din’t know what to say. I guess I didn’t want to take up any attention or resources when things had so recently been thrown out of balance even though they were initiating it. It’s complicated.

All I expected of today was that I’d see Jonathan my therapist. And I’d get a cupcake from Albany for lunch. Everyone gets one at their birthday. And Jess and I would generally hang out and have a good time.

I had a normal morning breakfast meds nap. Got a nice birthday e-mail from my cat! That said he loved me. At lunch got my cupcake. After lunch opened two awesome cards from Robert and Jess that will hang on my walls.

I also have the very cute card from Moreen the front desk person with the singing cat and dog.

At around one we hunted for jonathan. To my disappointment and hurt it turns out he had a scheduled day off that he likely totally forgot about. I wrote him saying my feelings honestly. That I had really really been looking forward to our session for a lot of reasons. Most pressing on the phone earlier both parents were acting pleasantly secretive about having talked to him or something which is rare as they’re just getting to know one another. Anyway I think I did well just writing him and being able to talk calmly about my feelings and acknowledging my anger and hurt. But that it wasn’t over the top. In the past I would have flown into major anxiety mode and with a ton of anger. I’d SI due to not being able to face these overwhelming emotions. And then be so mad at him for all the uproar this caused I wouldn’t see him for like two weeks.

So I’m really happy that I’ve come so far in my healing that I’m able to handle this situation that I literally was not able to handle months ago. I was still upsit but trying to keep my day going on a good note. It sure helped when Edith came in with cake and cupcakes that she said were from Krissy my sister! I was so so happy because I wasn’t expecting that at all! We started in on the cupcakes each having a couple me and Jess and then sharing with staff. I wrote Jonathan and told him he missed out on the party.

Later talked to Dad. I was saying how I was gonna good naturedly harass Jonathan for skipping out and he’s like don’t do that he organized your cake!! I’m like no way. I just figured that they had ordered online or whatever. Turns out it was this big group project with him and my family. Where he went to the bakery and told them the selection and everything! I couldn’t believe they all collaborated. Jonathan was just being introduced to my parents a few months back and had had only one get to know you conversation with my dad. So I guess they called him for help and collaborated on the whole thing and have got to know him better for it. So yeah I just couldn’t believe it!

Anyway so yeah that totally made my afternoon. Got two awesome cards from Jess and Robert. Plus a card from my cat Lucky and Dad who bought this awesome Alpacka with real Alpacka furr. I love it. I know it’s fragile and not to be slept with. It’s on display on my dresser.

So my birthday has been filled with a

Ot of unexpected surprises. (ncluding money I never thought I’d get!). Which I’ll be saving for something I really need.

Below is a video I made earlier about the day showing the cake and cards. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9B1wmInhmI&feature=youtu.be

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