So had an interesting Walmart trip. I’ve gone to Walmart on the van from Albany and also taken paratransit there. I much prefer going on paratransit or staying home while my friend shops with clear instructions about limits on money.
It seems everytime I take this van something makes me really anxious! The first time something major happened the driver who’s very set in his ways decided to have the radio on with the engine running so drained the battery. This was in a van full of loud annoying people. We had to wait like twenty minutes for another staff at Albany to give us a jump.
So I took a break for awhile. People encouraged me to try again. Well again it was a crowded van with very loud annoying residents. And I was very anxious. So took another break of a few months of someone doing the shopping. Today again decided to give it a try. First the driver was late so we left at like one fifteen instead of one. This poor guy who never goes was very anxious and paranoid being around lots of people. I wasn’t happy either in the van. Jess distracted me by telling me certain things we drove by and saying I could do this stuff. Like I could make you run around this big field a million times. Or I could make you work on a railroad. Make you fly a plane all around the world! ETC. It kept me calmer and the stuff she comes up with is really funny.
When we got there we decided I’d stay at the burger king part of Walmart and have a strawberry milkshake. Jess also got a chocolate one. She would do the shopping so I wouldn’t have to try walking around the store with my cane and running into people standing in narrow aslies ETC. This also creates a lot of anxiety for me so having me in one spot had it’s advantages. However it also brought the anxiety of what if someone came over and tried to steal from me or kidnap me? It’s silly but all I could think of is my mom’s refusal to leave me anywhere by myself for more than like five minutes because of that. I tried to do my reading on my braillenote. Was pleasantly surprised no one came over to interrogate me about all that. I was in a booth and it was under the table on my lap which is why. Anyway I finished the milk shake by the time Jess got back. We got a ton of good stuff including bakery things like sugar cookies with icing, blueberry Muffins and doughnut holes. Really yummylicious! Plus other snacks and stuff we needed. So yeah. Heading to the van I started having an upset stomach. I think the shake was just so thick and filling and I haven’t had something like that in awhile. And with the anxiety building up over the other little things my stomach just couldn’t settle. We bought food from burger king to eat later and the smell of it was making me worse. So finally finally we got everyone in the van including slow pokes who take forever in the store even if it’s only for a few things. And the smokers of course. So we’re all in and driving. I’m feeling worse with anxiety and upset stomach. At one point I really wanted to throw up or thought I would. I just kept my mouth shut and tried to breath.
Then we take a detour. We stop at Home depot. We had absolutely no idea about this. I guess the driver who drives the van for all activities had been instructed to buy some door thing for the activity director. So yeah when I heard we’d be going in there when I was feeling so bad I did get super anxious and cry a little. I was just at my limit of what I could cope with.
I wasn’t the only one. That guy I talked of before was like remind me never to do this again! I was like tell me about it. The best way is to have a trusted friend shop for you.
Anyway it took about ten minutes felt like forever. In the meantime people were talking about how he’s not allowed to stop like this. But of course he is if other staff said to. One woman said he stopped for twenty minutes just to get his own lunch but again I don’t know about that. He’s very set in his ways and really didn’t seem to notice about how we were all feeling. By the time I got home my stomach was a bit better. But I soo needed a nap. So I did slept til like five. Was able to eat the dinner we bought then. I think I was just overloaded by everything. Also had a couple of the frosted cookies and they’re very good. Well that’s all I have to report for now. If others can relate about anxious outings feel free to comment.