So today was really ok I guess. At around lunch though I became quite upset. They’re rotating housekeepers and so for some reason no one came to clean the bathroom or vacume the rug. I just noticed this morning because the bathroom smelled. I just got so upset about it and couldn’t put it out of my mind that they didn’t clean in two days and it wasn’t either ofhe two housekeepers usually up here and just couldn’t deal with this. I was anxious and crying. On top of this Jess was also having a rough day and so we reallyouldn’help each other as we were both in a hard place. Je did tell the nurse about the housekeeping not coming s and she said they’d probably be there soon but I was still so upset. Really didn’t want to eat lunch and a part of me really felt like just running out of the dining room because I absolutely hate the noise and chaos and everything in there. But Iid eat something and my ice cream is always a good ending to being down there. When we got back she was cleaning the room which I was so relieved about.
Looking back on it feel kinda stupid for being so upset about something small but sometimes that’s just anxiety for you. In the past I would have sl self harmed to not feel those feelings and just block it. I haven’t had such an emotional outburst in awhile. And I guess it’s good I plowed through it and that I’m living in a place that’s so understanding of ups and downs.
In other news I think we’re getting a really good impression of Margaret Manor central based on the fact I can’t get ahold of anyone. I tried a couple hours apart in the afternoon and it was the same deal with transferinggg to unnamed voicemails. Jess says try one more time and then we’re crossing it off our list. The two wer’e going with next are Sherridan Shores and Central Plaza. So that’s exciting. I like how Jess and I are doing this slowly and taking our time writing out notes and getting any info off websites ETC. It will give us everything we need to make an informed decision.
We’re going out tomorrow to get our haircut finally. Going to Betty and Nick’s family hair care. Just hoping it’s as good as Jonathan claims it is. Taking paratransit so never know how that will go. Just remembering timeless toys and how rough that was. But trying to hope for the best. We’re giving an hour for it plus they’re coming earlier than I thought so that head start hopefully will be good. It’s hard going to a new place and not knowing the people or how loud it will be crowded ETC. That’s stuff that triggers my anxiety. May take an Ativan before heading out the door we’ll see.
Another weird thing on my mind and I obsess over this at random intervals is getting recertified for paratransit. Here in IL you get the service for three years I think or four. And then have to recertify me for the ride. As in bring in supporting documents on why I can’t use paratransit ETC. My caseworker is like you’re blind I don’t understand why you need to do this. But I’m like I know but for some really twisted reason it doesn’t matter to them. I have to prove I can’t use the public transportation. Which a lot has to do with psychiatric issues and also usually a mobility instructor testifies to your ability to do this. It’s so nerve wricking to go through especially as you know it shouldn’t even be a process you should have to go through! I don’t have a blind services caseworker here because the only one here is a bitch. So I don’t know. I don’t know why it comes up every so often but it is scary to think about that I may be left without it and then not able to go anywhere really at all.
Hoping tomorrow will be good with the haircuts and stuff.