Sorry I didn’t write yesterday or the day before.
Tuesday night while getting my meds I was handed a piece of paper saying I had a gyno appointment with an eight AM pickup. I had absolutely no idea this appointment was even scheduled. After I had the ultrasound I was not told about any follow up appointment at all and figured I’d be discussing the results with my primary care doctor.
So I was quite anxious because I wasn’t expecting the appointment. It means changing my whole morning routine. I in general do a lot better with my anxiety knowing things in advance especially doctor’s appointments. I’m assuming this appointment was made by Monday at the latest. Why I was not told then is beyond me. Edith was still here because it was one of her later days and so she came down to talk. She also had no knowledge of this appointment which shows how disorganized things can be around here.
Anyway thankfully getting there was no issue. I was used to the crazy office and had my braillenote and ipod for company. Saw the doctor. Ultrasound was fine which I figured. My first comment to her was why not wait to see if I get my period again this coming month as though I did miss it for six months it did reappear this past month and for all intents and purposes seemed to me to be like an other normal period. However she says to me that we don’t know for sure if this was a “real period.” Yeah I’m totally confused too. She said that I could have “just been cleeding.” Without the whole menstral cycle actually taking place. Well I felt like I normally would feel before my period. Women know their bodies things just seemed fine for me.
In any case. I guess she really is not a wait and see kind of person. For the longest time my primary care doctor and I had thought we nailed down the issue with the increased prolactin levels due to my meds. Though this is a rare side effect, lately I haven’t been averse to rare side effects happening to me. Like the brain zaps that technically shouldn’t have happened last week.
The theory that higher levels of prolactin would stop my period and then when it leveled out I’d get it again held true. The level they got after I got my period this past month was lower so I got my period.
Now she’s saying that the level was never elevated enough to cause a problem and the problem is lack of progesterone. This is the first I heard of it. She says I don’t have enough progesterone which is why I’m not getting my period. She didn’t however as far as I know test the level of this hormone.
So she put me on [ a progesterone only birth control pill. Whicfh is supposed to be very safe with really no side effects. I’m to take it on the twentieth of each month for ten days. Then a couple days later I should get a normal period.
I have no idea. Just so weird you know?
For the longest time since this started with going to thegynocologist which I did not want to do in the first place, I have just intuitively felt like messing with your hormones just isn’t something I wanted to do. Especially with all the psych meds I’m taking and how emotional I am around that time of the month anyway. I just feel like adding something artificial to the natural ups and downs of hormones is just a disaster waiting to happen. As I said mostly due to the carefully chemically controlled brain c hemestry I have going with my meds at the moment. I’m pretty stable. Haven’t had a med change since February which was adding the buspar. Haven’t been hospitalized since over a year. I do not want anything to disrupt that.
If this were some med I desperately needed of course I’d take it and we’d figure out how to adjust my psych meds accordingly. But to me it’s not. The issue is pretty mucdh solved in my head. Yes I didn’t have my period for six months. To me that wasn’t a bad thing. They did an ultrasound my uterus and other organs in there are just fine. I did get my period bback. I will most likely get it again in September. I don’t understand this drama about OMG you need this progesterone and it’s so important ETC. I asked her at one point about any long term effects of not having your period. She said it could have bad effects on the uterus and cause precancer. Even though that sounds scary I don’t know it really didn’t freak me out. Not as much as I’m terrified what this pill will do to my already sensitive system. Like I said before I have been dealing with some weird rare side effect situations as I said the brain zaps. The fact my prolactin was elevated in the first place. People said that June a year ago I shouldn’t have that huge issue with being without my meds for a couple doses but boy oh did I. So while I normally am ok with most meds in terms of not having terrible issues that cause me to stop taking them, minus welbutrin and the seizures, I have been having these weird situations lately that make me even more afraid to do this.
This doctor of course says it’ll be fine. She’s the same one who said there’s no way my meds could have affected my period at all in the first place. I got home and Edith did call Dr. Fyazz. She read Fyazz the name of the pill and my med list and she said she had no concerns. I was temporarily comforted. Doing some research last night however made me less so. First of all could not find any evidence of long term damage from having no period. Besides a slight risk of ostioprosis later in life. From all the ads out there about that it sounds like almost all women get some level of that anyway period or not. It did not say anything about cancer at all. My women friends too say they’ve never heard of this and like me don’t see what the rush is with this.
In terms of side effects with my meds. I read that progesterone and antidepressants compete with the same enzymes in the liver so the antidepressant could have a higher blood level or lower depending. So basically messing up the way the med is processed in my body. With lamyctol they had studies showing that there’s a drop in lamyctol levels while taking progesterone and then rise again during the week you stop the pill which could cause seizures. Hearing the word seizures is enough to make me say no way. The two I had from welbutrin were bad enough! I swear the second one like totally messed up my brain for months after.
Ativan and buspar didn’t have really anything to say for themselves around this. Still the information I got on the other meds makes me feel like I’m not crazy about being afraid around this. Even if I weren’t on these meds, just like I said introducing an artificial hormone into a system where hormones are very particularly balanced and the increased emotions that could cause for anyone is enough to carefully consider. People say well it’s the pills with estragone and progesterone that are the ones that makes you crazy. But obviously this does have issues.
I’ll say again if this was a med I desperately needed I’d do what it takes to take the med and adjust everything around it. But putting myself in a position where to me there seems more than a slight chance of having a big emotional reaction, for really no reason compelling enough for me to take the risk just isn’t ok with me.
One friend says not to refuse because I’ll be seen as noncompliant. Since I’ve never refused anything and I have a pretty good case I’m not too worried. I don’t care if they call me that anyway. I consider myself informed, sorry for not wanting to put myself at risk of hospitalizations or my symptoms getting worse. One friend said as long as I talk with Edith I’m ok. Which oh believe me I will. Most others are like me unsure where this woman is coming from and say wait a month and see.
Well I think I’m totally done with the gyno. I do not want a second opinion on something that I’ve basically figured out what the problem is. I don’t want to go back to her. I really am thinking that once my period came back it will straighten itself out on its own.
Thoughts? Am I really being that much of a rebil for refusing? Have any of you taken progesterone only pil with the drugs I’ve mentioned? Will update you all.
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