Sorry I haven’t written since Thursday. Have been busy the last few days but thinking of everyone and wanted to keep you all updated on the little goings on of my life.
It was a relief to know that Edith rather than being totally upset I refused the progesterone on the grounds that I thought adding unnatural hormones to the mix of hormones, sensitive emotions, and psychiatric meds would destabilize me, she respected me genuine research. I did not send her one forum post in spite of actually more often than not trusting the views of those who post on forums as they’re the people that truly experience whatever issue not the doctors or outsiders telling you about it. Anyway she took it seriously and went to the director of nursing with it.
Karen the director of nursing has been here awhile. Jonathan the current clinical director has been here at least ten years. Apparently she was the clinical director before he was which I kind of find hard to imagine based on her personality. That and the v fact that I thought you need to be a licensed social worker/ psychologist to be clinical director. Apparently she does have some psychiatric nursing background and I guess that would qualify.
She does know her stuff obviously and knows how order people around LOL! I being one to really connect or not connect (or even be threatened by someone’s voice) I’ve always had problems with Karen. She has a high pitched very tense sound voice always seeming on the edge of high anxiety or being upset. This then puts me on edge making any real connection very difficult. We had some conversation way back when we were hashing out my self injury care plan that didn’t go too well on my end so I never really got over that. I never really want to ask her anything because I’d have to hear that frantic tense voice.
However obviously staff or at least Edith get along with her. Because Edith went to her with the Gyno’s information and my research. She said she doubted the woman’s claims of long term damage certainly not by waiting another month to see if my period would come. She claimed that ten days of taking the progesterone would be a very small dose of hormone and should be fine but she couldn’t garuntee anything which makes me shutter because when people say that in my case it always turns out I’m that rare person that experiences the thing that “shouldn’t be a problem.”
So for the first time in my life I actually really want my period to come! Hoping it will and then I’ll be rid of this gyno mess for like ever.
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