day one by myself keeping busy

Hey everyone,

So don’t know if I said or not Jess did leave for the hospital last night. There was some reason the paramedics had to leave right away and so I couldn’t say goodbye to her. In a way maybe it was for the best it probably would have been hard to see me so upset for her.

We’ve done it both ways and I’m not sure which is best.

She has two stuffed animals that are her babies and I’m their aunt of course. She took one with her and I have the other one and talk to it and stuff. It hangs out with my other million kids in stufty land.

Anyway last night went to sleep ok but woke up off and on. I heard a night staff person come in looking for Jess which they usually do at like four in the morning for meds and I thought it was that time, though of course the person you would think would have known which people are gone or here but don’t overestimate them LOL!

Anyway so I didn’t check the time because Jess is like my clock, when I don’t have my computer or phone on at least so I thought when I couldn’t get to sleep for an hour after that it must be six well did some reading came on the computer where I found out it was three in the morning! I was like OMG I’m going to sleep.

So was wicked tired in the morning but took my usual nap. My favorite day staff person took me to lunch like they’re supposed to if Jess isn’t there. Edith in the afternoon took me for a walk which it was nice out. We took a long walk and then I went on the swings in the park and was really tired after and I said how I’m never going on a walk with her again and she was laughing at me!

But yeah it was really good. Then did computer stuff just talking to friends. Went through my twitter followers and actually got rid of the ones I don’t want to hear from which was cool. Good housecleaning.

Then I’m trying to think. Talked to my mom about everything. She has her issues but she cares a lot about Jess and I’ve told her some of her story and my mom has a big heart. She got her some really nice shirts for her size and stuff.

One thing I hate around here is going to meals. I was never, at least before coming here, a good go to meals person. If I was hungry and had a snack with me I’d rather eat that then get up and go. And if I was tired/ depressed forget it! But Jess is a huge pain in the ass about dragging to meals which I guess is why I’m at a reasonable weight and not underweight like I was when I came here. But of course staff are used to Jess taking me downstairs and by the time I got off the phone with my mom it was like six. So I had a honey bun and called it dinner. Don’t really care.

Am in an ok mood though. Miss her like crazy. Can’t wait for her to e-mail. They allow at this unit for people to use the computer which is awesome! I just hope she really is trying her best to reflect on what happened in groups and not just rely on meds as the full answer because they aren’t.

But yeah I guess good so far. It will be good that Edith is here everyday this week and I’ll get to see Jonathan as well. And my online friends have also been awesome.

I’ll continue to try and keep busy posting here over the next week on a variety of subjects and really reading others blogs which I say I’m gonna do and then forget with the best of intentions.


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