long update

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven’t updated since Wednesday. It’s just been emotional the last couple days.

Wednesday’s session with Jonathan was tough. I tried to explain the caseworker situation, how Jess was not properly treated by him. Jonathan was very firm, unusually so about not discussing her treatment with me even if he was going to take any action on the situation or not.

He knows the intimacy of our relationship and has dealt with boundary issues before just in a gentler less irritated way. It’s frustrating for us because we’re not just friends we’re basically sisters and not being able to advocate for one another at least to some degree is difficult. Hearing about friends who have blood relatives that they can’t advocate for due to them not legally being a spouse or guardian puts it in perspective that a lot of people deal with this situation sadly.

His approach just seemed not so empathetic and my emotions were high so it wasn’t the best day for him to be in a bad mood.

I did feel better after getting my feelings out I guess.

It was just hard and sad getting through the rest of that day and night. Thursday I found out that Jess might be coming home on Friday! I was excited and surprised that she’d be coming home so soon though of course I wanted her to.

I was also afraid of how crushed I’d feel if she actually didn’t come home.

The best part of Thursday was making up my crisis

Textline training I missed on Sunday and getting all my role plays done. We have an observation session tomorrow a final Monday and then a last session next weekend. The training has gone by so fast and I love the good people I’m meeting.

Friday was good. I hung out basically just e-mailed friends and read. When Jess came home I hugged her so hard and didn’t want to let go!

Unfortunately as with last time and the other times there have been issues she needs to stay in an observation room for a week to be sure she’s able to be in this room safely.

It sucks but she gets to come and be with me a couple hours at a time. I just loved hanging out with her and talking her ear off. She was able to look back and tell me a little of what happened last weekend. I think things just snowballed and caught up with her. I still firmly believe that if her caseworker had done his job when she came to him in the first place she likely wouldn’t have gone to the hospital. And it could have been a huge positive moment in her treatment where she did choose to reach out and genuinely tried to do the right things instead it’s seen as just another crisis. I think this is wrong and she’s owed an apology but I can’t fight that for her and there’s probably no use.

Another horrible thing that came up was the stupid people at the hospital screwed up her medication list big time and so she had hardly any of the meds she needed coming home. I was extremely anxious for her just remembering how horrible things were when I missed less than a day of meds. I finally calmed down after she reassured me ten million times she’d be ok for a day or so and it being Friday night they really couldn’t do anything but the next day they’d figure it out.

And they did. The floor that room is on is very chaotic. We were in it for months and hated it but the other room she likes better is full. Anyway the plus to the current room is the floor nurse has known her, and me for all those months and he’s awesome. So they’re straightening things out and she’s already doing better with not everything but more meds in her than yesterday.

I’ve just been hanging out. I finished a book I’m gonna review. I finished the last training module and just need to do a self evaluation thing before tomorrow night.

I’m excited that Jess will be getting a new caseworker. I think she needs a fresh start. It will be good for her to also get lined up with an individual therapist and maybe some groups. Over all things have finally settled down for us both.

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