So had a totally exhausting experience last night. That was made exhausting by the way it was handled by staff here.
Where I live staff have a certain way of doing things when it comes to addressing issues with residents. All staff or PRCS can potentially interact with all residents just fine. They run different groups can check in with other residents, residents can go to whoever they need to in a crisis. Each resident does have a main PRC that they work with. Who sees them at least once a week does their plan and generally knows them best. Though this varies from resident to resident some refuse to see their PRC at all, others don’t like theirs. Though you have the right to switch if things aren’t working out.
But anyway for whatever reason their rule generally is that if a PRC that’s not someone’s specific one sees an issue that they’re concerned about they tell the resident’s PRC rather than going to the resident directly. This apparently makes it easier for the resident to hear the information from their own PRC than from one that they don’t have as good of a relationship with.
However for those like me that are self-aware enough and emotionally clued in, it really comes down to feeling like the person originally concerned is talking behind your back about you and leaving it to your PRC to relay the message.
So over the weekend a PRC that isn’t either my or my friend’s was talking to my friend who was having a hard time. I was doing something else with another friend who was there and in the middle of something. I hadn’t realized at the time how much my friend needed support and was in a serious conversation with the PRC she was talking to. Who she did have a pretty solid relationship with. I was impatiently trying to get her to get back to what we were doing and snapped at her to help me. To the PRC this seemed insensitive and rude which it was.
I realized that and apologized to both of them. Sounds simple right? Well their way of handling it went like this:
This happened on a Saturday night. The person concerned waited until yesterday to tell both of our PRCS. She told them individually I guess so they could then talk to each of us about it. Keep in mind neither PRC had actually witnessed this. This was now secondhand communication.
My friend’s PRC talked to her first before mine told me and my friend was confused herself. She hadn’t really been concerned about the incident that night and couldn’t really articulate in a way I could fully understand what was even said.
Similarly when I went to my PRC and found out she knew (again I had known nothing about this) she couldn’t even really give me a solid explanation of what the concern was. I pretty much demanded to talk to the actual witness. She came in I listened to what she had to say understood it and that was it. My PRC and she were really worried I would lash out at her but obviously I didn’t. I wanted to prove to them that this kind of indirect almost high school behavior communication was the cause of the problem. In the future I told the person to please come directly to me. Something that seemed a novel concept for these people.
They really feel it’s best for staff that don’t have a relationship with a resident to just leave it to the resident’s PRC. However I just think that’s really unhealthy. The fact they model this and are afraid to approach you personally is like ok? You’re supposed to be teaching social skills? I get that so many residents are not insightful enough to maybe handle this. That just listening to their own PRC is a huge issue and anything sets them off. But I know I can’t be the only one upset by this, or who could use this type of healthy communication. Just really weird. I came out feeling very proud of myself but was shocked at how emotionally exhausting they made this situation. Especially as they’re professionals.