So this afternoon I got an unexpected visitor. Her name was Audrey. She’s the umbudsmen for the city of Evanston. She goes and investigates any complaints or concerns. in local facilities in the city. I never even knew she existed. Apparently she comes in at least once a month. We’ve talked to a lot of people from the state and so at first I thought that’s why she was here.
Well she goes and says that a month ago she got an e-mail from a made up e-mail address with no name, expressing concerns about the therapy Jonathan was providing for myself and a few other residents.
The e-mail was very detailed covering all concerns for each resident. The part she read to me that covered me stated that Jonathan saw me weekly or so, and discussed all treatments used. But that these treatments, CBT, DBT, other therapies he wasn’t trained in. That I complained of sometimes not being able to see him due to being the clinical director but that I still valued the “special treatment.”
It then went on to describe that I have self-injury, that this person saw me hit myself with a closed fist, knew I scratched and cut with objects and my nails. They basically said that Jonathan had no training in this area and they were concerned I wasn’t getting proper treatment.
I’m proud of myself for not having a total meltdown. I didn’t even cry though did get kinda teary when talking about how much Jonathan means to me as a therapist and how he’s basically saved my life. I talked about how therapy goes and what we do and how I would have not opened up to anyone else. That they’re right about the SI behavior but that I’ve gotten way better with things.
I feel violated in a way that someone took all this personal info and wrote some stranger supposedly with caring intentions. Rather than coming to me first and discussing things. Audrey has known Jonathan for years and at first couldn’t believe it. But she knew she had to check. The letter was sent a month ago. I keep trying to think of anyone who knows my case so intimately and has the language to articulate themselves so well. I mean they really wrote a good letter I have to say. Audrey says it’s possibly a former staff member or current staff member that doesn’t like Jonathan. It could also be a former or current resident, though like I said they’d have to know my situation inside and out which very few residents do. It is a little scary that someone knew all this information and I have no idea who, at all.
When the state investigates, often residents come out with stuff that isn’t true at all based on their illness. Like say Jonathan hit them. To be safe Jonathan would have to leave work for a day so they could properly investigate. When I found this out that this is what they do, I knew why but I was really mad that he had to be put through that. But now I was sad but prepared for the proper measures to be followed. But she must have a different kind of job. She says with her no one gets punished she just talks things out. That clearly no harm has happened here. She asked permission to tell Jonathan about the complaint. She hadn’t been able to yet as she hadn’t talked to me first. I said absolutely. Maybe he’d know who did it. I’m just more stunned that someone would do this without first talking to me, and that they know the whole situation like they do. And feel weird that this woman knows about my SI and therapy stuff now. Not that it matters but again it’s the difference between you telling someone something and someone else telling them, and you don’t even know who they are.
Sigh. So that was my fun for the day.