general update

Hi everyone,

Wanted to give a general update. Not much has gone on the last couple days really. Today we went out to Jess’s college to get her books so she’s all ready for classes Monday and is happily organizing everything. I’m excited for her but also very worried how this will go.

She’ll soon also be applying for paratransit, the van I use to get around as public transportation is extremely difficult for her due to physical issues and anxiety. I don’t mind taking her if it means she gets home safely but it will be nice for her to have her own ability to use it.

Other than that not much going on. My mom’s mom is extremely close to the end of her life. She’s been dealing with leukemia for over a year I believe. It’s very close to the end like she’s on morphine. I wasn’t very close to her or my grampa though they were extremely there for us physically like babysitting and stuff.

They also brought a lot of tention especially him as he can be so stubborn quick to anger and hold grudges forever. Probably where my mom got it from LOL! Between the two of them her unstable sister and my Dad and him butting heads things got interesting over the years. Even with the cancer it didn’t bring people together. The unstable sister took over everything and Grampajust sort of went along with it. He’s always asking my mom to do stuff and then it seems he favors her sister which like I said caused a lot of issues. I just wish everyone could come together around this but it never happened.

Anyway I’m sad I didn’t get to see her before she died. It shows how long I’ve been away and am just sad about not seeing my family in so long. Just kind of worried that by the time my parents get around to having me come there or them coming here I won’t have much family left. Especially pets. I’m always so anxious the pets will die before I can see them. Especially my sister’s brat cat that pies everywhere for no reason. But we’ve had him since my sister was three and I’d want to like at least make a video of me and him not to mention me and my baby Lucky. But I don’t know if that will ever happen.

This past Friday my mom asked what I wanted for my birthday of course I said my cat! She said at one point that my parents had wanted me home for my birthday. That was the first I ever heard of that. They kept putting off talking about it and then went into major house remodeling mode but I never once heard about it.

So yeah just a lot. Will try to save money so maybe I can have the money for the plane ticket for Jess and myself at some point.

I don’t like getting older. Just don’t. So yeah kinda not looking forward to my birthday except Jess and I will go to dunkin doughnuts. And Edith and I will have a signing lesson and she’ll teach me to sign happy birthday among other stuff we’re working on which makes me happy.

That’s about all. Tomorrow I have DBT. That’s about all for then. Friday I will hopefully see Mr. J for therapy which I do need.

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2 thoughts on “general update

    • Yeah it is very hard. The last time I saw them was my birthday in 2012 when they dropped me off at Friedman place. It’s really hard especially not seeing my pets and knowing I’m missing out on life with them. I’ve had good lives with them but still. Also missing my sister’s high school graduation not being able to take her to college and all sorts of stuff. Who knows when my mom will get it together on this she can be very inconsistent and her emotional problems can get in the way.

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