my last night of being 27

I wrote this same post last year on June 4th. With the same title.

I just can’t believe I’m turning 28. Seems so much older than 27. Time goes by way too fast.

Today was ok. The best thing was ordering out Jess and I got burger king. We even got milkshakes which I haven’t had in forever.

That hyped me up a little. I was still the same kinda blah not wanting to say much or do anything. But I did my computer work. Online stuff I usually do on Saturday got done.

My package did end up here today! Which even surprised my mom. She wasn’t sure when it was gonna come. It’s funny and not that, right as they were putting the package together they got a call from my Grampa very upset that Nanna really could be dying. This was when they first got the morphene. So they rushed over and sent what they could in the mail without totally doing the whole package. So she says she’s gonna send another package! It’s just funny because look how long it took the first one to come? She’s in over her head with so much emotionally I would not want to be her right now.

So I guess I should talk about the stuff that happened this year which is quite a lot. I started and am happy volunteering with crisis textline. It’s a very good organization and it really makes me feel valued to do my weekly shifts. I still wish that there was a way for there to be an in person hotline here. But maybe when we move to another state we’ll find something. It’s good to be giving back and using my skills to help others

I can’t believe Jess is going back to school! This is a life dream for her. I’m so proud of her and am honored to support her through everything.

One more year that I haven’t been hospitalized. Would be good to keep that up. Meds have been great this year can’t think of any big changes that were made.

I’m learning ASL and discovered a blind ASL interpreter. I never thought that would happen last year. Am friends with Kat. Who previously seemed like such a mystery because all I heard of her was her squeaks and honestly never knew much about her. But Jess and I took the leap and reached out and she was more than happy I’d say totally overjoyed to have friends who really want to communicate with her.

I think the biggest thing for me is my wanting to find other options for myself and thinking about a life outside Albany. I know this may take years to happen as it really needs to be well planned and there are no viable quick options. Nor should there be when I step back and quit being annoyed at the little things. My life was saved here. I do worry that without the support of what I have here things could fall apart. I have to build skills to keep myself from going there without just trying to ignore my emotions. So that will be a hard one.

But this time last year I never in a million years would want to leave here or think I could have any kind of life otherwise.

So I don’t know what this coming year will bring. I know there will be ups and downs. I hope to be able to make new friends and be close with my current friends and people that care. So happy birthday to me.

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