Robbie is in an interesting place right now. And I think it sends a message about trying to find the good in hard situations and making the most of it.
And please know I’m not saying this from an super unrealistic overly positive mindset. Because what I wrote sounded like something irritating someone would say to a depressed person to try and make them have a new perspective. I’m not saying that.
I’m saying that when all this hit we both felt extremely devastated and angry. That the so called professionals neglected his healthcare to the point that these illnesses, that could have easily been prevented or have been much more mild, grew to such an extent that he’ll never see again. I guess it would be different if he were on his own trying to manage things and they got out of hand and he didn’t know the signs to look for ETC. But he wasn’t he was under the care of nursing staff, supposedly seeing a medical doctor at least once a month hospitalizations supposedly followed up on in theory ETC. That none of this happened is inexcuseable.
So when I found out about his ucomming surgery I was very anxious for him being in an environment where I doubted people would care one bit, I mean they didn’t call the ambulance for goodness sake! I wanted to like sneak him into my closet at alban and have nurses secretly look after him. I wanted to move him out as soon as possible.
We were talking last night in e-mail about all this. And he says I don’t mean to sound like I’m saying shove off, but I do have lots of support here! I was a hundred ten million percent thrilled to hear this. When he told me about residents offering to get things at the store for him, doing mobility lessons, helping him with braille it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. When I heard about the good CNAS behind the scenes working around the stupid director’s crazy system that demands he handle doing his laundry when this is imposible due to CP I was thrilled. The former director of nursing is truly loving and will do the best for him. I believe should he choose to he can make it work there. And that of course the surgery and recovery will be a long while. And long term I feel comfortable with him there assuming he has the same level of support from the residents and the few good staff they have left.
It made me sad though as though I had an awesome time at FP and was envolved in everything under the sun, there was a part of me the mental illness part that never felt at home there. I couldn’t even try to open up because I got the reactions of I can’t believe you’re depressed or anxious or you really need medication? I kept so much to myself and could stay on top of it for awhile but it just became too much. It really made me wish that I didn’t have mental illness because if I didn’t I think I would have had a more secure place within the resident community without this baggage I had to hide.
But about seeing the good in the bad. It’s a process. We didn’t go looking for the good or having someone [ put us down for being infuriated and deeply betrayed. The good just happened in the form of residents giving mobility advice, braille advice chocolate a hug randomly ETC. And that director of nursing who let him cry in her office and said how sorry she was. And of course the bad, the people who did this to him are still there and still a huge issue. But being able to cling to the good offsets that though not as much as it should. He’s in a good middle ground place right now, he’s getting as much support within the facility as possible at this point. He’s extremely intelligent in advocating for him self and plans to work around any stupid demands the staff throw at him in favor of the appearance everything is about money model that’s so strongly being upheld. Putting that under fire will have to come later but for now I’m just happy he’s in a solid safe place. And I never thought there would be such thing as a safe place in that situation but he found it.
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