This is a very special post. A hard for me to write as it’s hard for me to convey the experiences I’m talking about from an outside perspective. I can’t even imagine what it’s like writing or talking about these things as a survivor.
I learnd about dissociative identity disorder, at the time multiple personality disorder in high school I believe. I’d heard of Sybil and was told to read it. It was a brilliant bookabout the shattering of a mind into many different parts due to the intensity of traumas in childhood of a physical sexual and emotional nature. Without such self-protetive splitting the person would be completely shut down and might even die.
I also totally admired Sybel’s therapist and her persistence in helping the alters communicate and working through their traumas individually. She also used hypnosis wquite skillfully.
I never met someone with DID until I started my blind mental health group. Right away we had several members with dissociative systems, I was really honored that they chose to share horors that are unimaginable knowing they were with safe people.
It was then I heard words like ritual abuse, cults (which I thought long had died off), mind control, programing. I had never known about these things. And was in a state of disbelief especially with the cult thing I thought that was just gone away.
I never doubted my friends though each disclosure or comment on thesituation made me shiver.
As stated above I don’t feel qualified to write about this subject in any real detail. As I have no personal experience with it. I don’t want to hurt anyone by saying the wrong thing or something unintionally ignorant.
But to simplify things.
Ritual abuse an extreme, sadistic form of abuse of children and non-consenting adults. It is methodical, systematic sexual, physical, emotional and spiritual abuse, which often includes mind control, torture, and highly illegal and immoral activities such as murder, child pornography and prostitution. The abuse is justified by a religious or political ideology.
This takes place within many generations of a family. Children are often born into the cult or parents are forced to give up their children or be killed.
This straightforward description says nothing about the horrific ins and outs of the abuse how different programs, just like computer programs, are systematically embedded into people’s minds to block any kind of healing even once the person escapes the cult.
I’ll be providing some links if you want to learn more. Please be gentle and trust your body and emotions. Even as a supporter it gave me anxiety and fury over what one person can subject others to for who knows what kind of twisted logic.
The main point of the post is around holidays like Halloween. If you have a friend they might be able to tell you the details of what they’ve been through, even if they’ve confided that they’re multiple which is a huge risk. Your friend seems extremely out of sorts around one or another of these dates: Below is a link to a calendar.
To summarize basically every month there are several trigger dates. Obveous things like Halloween, mother’s day, solstaces, but other ones too for holidays I’ve never heard of. On many months it seemed like every day was a trigger. But every person has different ones it’s up to the cult they were in andf what’s important.
Your friend might just want to take it easy. May want to ask for support of you being there to keep company/ distract with some neutral activity. Or may say they need to be alone. This could be risky as it could be seting off a program for cult access. Hopefully survivors try to make a safety plan around these dates but from an outsiders educated perspective they won’t know serious it is. I’ts important to do whatever the person feels most comfortable with. Realize they’re terribly wounded and need to be treated with the gentle care you’d treat someone who’s experienced any other trauma.
The moral is to be compassionate and go with what the person is wanting. Realize that these days are not happy and having reminders that they are for others is not helpful.
I hope this shed some light on how to be a good supporter for an RA survivor. I honestly couldn’t go into specifics it’s not my place. But hoping this will give you some idea on the subject. I will provide some links for further reading.
Ritual dates calendar
end ritual abuse
I hope this is a good starting point. To all survivors please be safe on these days and take it one moment at a time.
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