the hardest part of moving would be finding a new therapist

I’ve been feeling so much better about everything related to considering moving now that I have Anna on board.

So was looking at therapists in Peoria which Anna described as the town being in the middle of nowhere.

So what I’ve discovered is for some reason this town is CBT and solution focused central! There must be a local college or university that has that orientation. Like in Cambridge it’s all client centered creative types, and in Brookline it’s all psychoanalytic where you have no idea what they’re really thinking about you LOL

Anyway any kind of short term behavior therapies like that do not work for me at all. Someone trying to tell me even nicely to change my thoughts and that will change how I feel triggers my parents basically telling me the same thing growing up. I process at my own speed and can’t be rushed.

The only way I could tolerate
CBT at the day program, before I just quit was taking notes like a good girl and then coming home and Mr. J sat down with me and we like basically messed with the stuff until it was put to me in a way that I could at least handle.

He says I’m more cognitive than I realize but a huge thing for me is processing emotions. He actually is foundationally more of a goal oriented solution focsed therapist. But he realized that I needed a more relational process oriented approach so he went there. We do goal stuff but he knows he can’t push me, has to introduce stuff slowly give me time to think about it , keep talking about it and come to things in my own time. I know I’m an exhausting client to work with in that way but yeah.

So anyway these therapies would be a disaster for me. As I said it’s not just the community mental health centers where you’d expect this stuff. Everyone in private practice is doing it too.

I have been in Chicago for a few years and when at Friedman looked for someone for two years and couldn’t find anyone. Went through a few interns I didn’t like and a community mental health therapist who was soo clinical it was crazy. Then I just gave up on therapy. Fought it kicking and screaming when Jonathan started working with me. So I don’t know how I’d begin to find someone out there with the limits there seem to be.

Or even in the Chicago area really if we went to Edens though Jonathan might have more luck finding someone good.

Just so interesting how each area has different spins on therapy over all.


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