Jess still struggling and good news for her about paratransit!


So Jess is still struggling with self-harm thoughts and rollercoaster moods. Towards the afternoon her caseworker told her if she was doing good tomorrow she could leave the observation room.

But then after dinner, in addition to our nurse being a complete jerk to her about how much time she was visiting me (long story), I guess she had been having those thoughts and anxiety/ irritability again.

And we have a mess with the psychiatrist still. Though they’re in the process of switching her this guy was actually planning on coming in today said the doctor’s list with her name on it. Her caseworker was eager to sit in the meeting and see what he had to say about this. Well guess who didn’t show up today again! We had another psychiatrist like this. He rarely came in and you could never get ahold of him. A girl here was getting worse and worse with her aggression until she ended up breaking a staff member’s nose! Even then I’m not sure if he saw her. I know he doesn’t come here anymore. I wonder at what point Albany people like director of nursing can be like since you haven’t even seen your patients we don’t want you here anymore.

It doesn’t help in the choosing process that there are so few options. Her caseworker put Dezon on the table as an option. He was my first psychiatrist well known for hospitalizing all the time. And overmedicating though I’ve heard works magic with people with psychotic symptoms. Doesn’t know or care to know about cutting that’s for sure.

So I advised she strongly object to this. Then there’s Glickman/ gill. Sharon Glickman is his nurse practitioner and very good. She does seem to understand self-harm, medications, talks with you about everything. The problem is you see Gill in the hospital not her. And I’ve written plenty about that unit and him. And he’s also a hospitalization happy kinda guy. Not to mention “likes to diagnose” bipolar II and put people on latuda!

Which leaves Patel, and a guy named Badar. Jess and I were wondering if maybe she could see someone at the outpatient place down the street where she sees her therapist. But it looks like all of them hospitalize at the same hospital we’re trying to avoid as all the offices/ hospitals are connected across Chicago and suburbs. They’re not all bad. Some I guess do hospitalize at St. Jo’s which is where I had my first hospitalization. I liked them a lot.

I wish there were more options. I’m gonna ask Jonathan for the whole story on how psychiatrists get to come here and everything because this is nuts. How are you supposed to improve at hospitals where you lay around doing nothing with psychiatrists who have no idea or clearly don’t care to get to know a person before just throwing meds at them?

Since she’s been dealing with the thoughts again they just tried to call this DR. a little while ago. Considering that he hasn’t come here in months I doubt he’ll be reachable at nine at night, or at anytime of day honestly! But if he can just do a med change I think that’s all that’s needed.

It’s so hard to see her struggling for so many days and see her having to work so hard to be open and honest about everything with staff herself and me. Which is just something so new for her and I imagine more draining than her usual default of keeping everything inside. All the talking and writing she’s doing is probably keeping things from getting even worse.

Sadly without Jonathan around there’s really no one here for me to really open up to. Saturday I saw Anna who was stressed to the max because she and only one other PRC were there and it was crazy. She just said ok, ok to everything I said. Asked if this stuff was affecting me more” I guess more than usual? Which is such a weird question! I did say yes like it’s harder to sleep with Jess not in the room and everything. To which she said ok. She gets like this. Sadly I’m wondering if she’ll be leaving soon after her one year mark next month. I really hope she can hang in there a few months as we have two open spots now. Her office mate just up and left it turns out. The day she went on vacation. And then there’s the one that’s been here two years so I don’t think anyone blames her for leaving.

Jonathan will just have major work cut out for him when he comes back on Monday. Can’t come soon enough for me.

On the good news front Jess got accepted to paratransit!! We all knew she would. Now she has the transportation to safely get around in all kinds of weather, at night for classes and in any situation where I would be having a nervous breakdown thinking of her having to take buses and stuff. I’m beyond happy that I kept pushing her on that. Wish I had pushed her sooner on this psych thing. I just knew it would come to a crisis and we’d be in this position. But she does things in her own time.

Anyway I’m ok I guess. Just doing online stuff trying to keep busy.


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