Not quite sure what I’m writing about today just stuff on my mind in no order.
Today was just chillaxing. I did see Lakeshia and she seems really happy with Megan. She said it sounds like she’s really optimistic about my therapy and really on top of things. Like she sent my release forms to her right away for my chart. And just in general.
Just was on youtube a lot. Somehow in my recommended videos there was a vlog of a mom giving birth! Then found many many people do this! Guess people will post anything on youtube just like FB twitter and everything.
She got a ton of support from other parents. Saw other videos about people going through cancer, homeschooling kids, just so much.
It was so cool to see the community around those vulnerable enough to post such things.
It gives me more incentive to vlog myself. If anyone can see my videos and know they’re not alone with complex struggles I will be very happy. Plus I just love hearing myself talk LOL!
Talked a lot to my friend Bety. She’s a shaman I met years ago. The organization she worked with came to my college. I got a tarot card reading. Wanted to find out more about the place and for my birthday got a reading from her.
She’s extremely extremely loving. Wants the absolute best for people. I believe she’s spot on with her intuitive messages to people whether or not they want to hear it is another question!
She had a lot of amazing guidance about my family issues at the time and her support was huge. I do believe too her ability to sense future events is accurate. In respect of my pets, and animals have always been close to her heart, she’s said things about them that ended up being very true. Not just about their personalities and things that happened with them but like about how I likely wouldn’t see them again and how they’d die and stuff. It was sad but so amazing she could sense that.
Even if she didn’t have a drop of psychic ability she’d still be an amazing person to know. I think the fact that she does work with undefineable energy all around us makes her a very peaceful grounded person. People think those who work with spirets or on any kinda psychic level are new age and not down to earth at all. Or out for the money. She’s the most down to earth person I know and she pases that on t to those around her.
With my issues, she has never wavered in her conviction that these are ghosts who have entered my energy field. Due to my high s sensitivity in all ways around that I can not see. She also says a huge trauma on a celluar level (so I wouldn’t be conscious of it at all) was triggered and I might be reliving things from past lives or things that happened to the spirets of those who haven’t past on but are hanging around me. They’re hanging around me because something about me resonates with them and they believe that by sticking to a living person that is like them they will continue to live through that person.
The continuing to “live through that person” wasn’t something she e ever said to me. That’s been my feeling ever since day one. That whatever this is is using my body and mind as a way to simply live their lives. Like. Oh no I don’t have a physical body! Oh look here’s one. If we get this person’s mind focused on us enough we can totally just do our thing and be happy and she’ll be totally zoned!
They don’t talk like that but that’s the idea. ‘ Bety did explain about the trauma thing and the empathic sensitivity thing. This all makes so so much more sense than any psychiatric explanation for this, or them having absolutely no explanation or ability to help me.
She has incouraged me to keep affirming myself as a person and strengthening my personal boundaries. She said it’s about taking control of myself and life and not letting people push me around. I just wish the people I’m now trying to work with were not nonliving beings who have the power to totally overtake me.
Honey (who she like I believe is the dominant one) took me over tonight and told Jess that she knows I believe she’s a ghost. Apparently she doesn’t. But it happened in a second. I had no idea.
This is why people can not! Talk to me when I’m being taken over! Because it gives the being more places to connect and get stronger and it stops me from being able to hold on to my sense of Sam if people are engaging with this other stuff that is not me.
I just realized. Maybe the boundary thing isn’t just about fighting these things off like my relationship between me and them. Maybe it’s about continuing to stand up for myself in relationships with other people and to tell them that this is what I need I won’t submit to what they think or feel is right!
Wow that’s cool LOL!
Like Sam having an actual insight live in writing! Wish it happened on video I can stage it I suppose.
But yeah not much else to say. Tomorrow will have art therapy for the first time. Little ghostie will not be attending as she has been!
Not sure what I want to make but hopefully we can experiment with some different tactile materials and it can be an outlet for me.
Hmmm let’s see.
Well Robbie still! Hasn’t gotten these books in whole files like he keeps forgetting! But he says that it does take awhile when they’re separate chapters. So yeah.
Oh and did I mention Bety’s awesome?
Talk more tomorrow.