Today has been an ok day.
They finally cleaned my bathroom it was so gross and we bugged them for like a week. They have such a terrible housekeeping system here claiming to do the rooms once a week but they don’t. I don’t understand why at least the seven bathrooms in the rooms with them can’t be done daily when it was with more bathrooms at the other place I lived in.
Also heard mom exchanged e-mail with Megan and says her price is “reasonable” I hope this means I can go once a week.
The big thing today was my conversation. For people who don’t know Bety is a shaman.
Here is her information.
She’s written several books one on being an empathy another one on she and her team who work with spirets attached to people or things what one calls haunting.
I have known and trust Bety since I was 18. Because of her psychic abilities she can accurately read people and animals as well! And get to the heart of what’s going on with them. Whether the person is ready to hear that information and put it in their lives is another question!
But she is extremely compassionate loving and committed to helping as many people for as long as she can.
She’s not at all about money. She’s helped me so much over the years I so wish I could pay her but I can’t.
She’s also become a supportive friend. She’s very wise. She loves animals and nature and seems to draw good positive people and experiences to her. She’s one of the most down to earth peaceful people I’ve met. So whether or not I believe in everything she works with, it is something amazing to keep a person that calm and centered and to be able to teach that to others.
She’s known right from the beginning that “the others” are in fact ghosts that have been attracted to my energy. Because of some unfinished business in the earth world and needing a living person to process what’s going on for them. Or just as a way to live their lives through.
Which has totally beenmy experience everyminute of all this. The panic attack itself did not feel like an internal build up of my own anxiety or stress. It felt like I was being attacked physically, meant to be killed. So was the experience of something not seen attacking me from the outside in.
Bety believes this triggered some kind of celuar trauma, that I may not even have had in this life. This also makes sense to me as if you were to put the trama response symptoms I have had into the lense of trauma, I consciously have no idea what could be that severe. If it is something stored in my energy from another life it makes sense I wouldn’t know what it is.
Although when people do speak to “the ghosties”(my new name for them) they say they have no trauma memories either.
Bety really listened to how I’m struggling. I feel so safe talking about everything with her. Like honesty around being afraid I’ll have another attack. She said to not dwell on fear as it will drain my energy more but to tell myself it will not happen. As I have been doing.
It was amazing to be vulnerable in a moment of fear and be able to feel truly heard and understood and to then get a really good response back.
She says that some people are haunted for years b because the ghosties will tell the person things in order for them to stick around and will do anything to keep a connection with this world. Which is why it’s dangerous to engage them in conversation or even acknowledge them beyond sending clear empowered messages that they are not welcome I will protect myself and fight for my sense of who I am which is strong as it ever was.
I really felt empowered afterour conversation. She’s totally in my corner and literally the oneperson I trust who really gets it.
She recommended doing a process called “journey work” with her friend Lisa. At first we weren’t sure because it was not clear whether or not I had a dissociative disorder. She was worried about not having her license for that. But now we know that that is not the case she can work with me as she would anyone else experiencing trauma.
I am optimistic about reconnecting with her.
Bety has a sense Megan might just understand or put her beliefs aside to see my reality which is very comforting.
I will keep fighting back and do know I am in control here. It feels so good to know that and have support and reminders along the way.
I feel lonely, frustrated, a lot of things that I have lost my friends in this process. It’s what the ghosts wanted to take as much control overme andmy life as possible and pull as many people as possible into their web so to speak. Well sadly it worked. I had been alternating between fighting them with all I had and being so drained I didn’t care and they took full advantage of that.
Now I know how to demand they stop what they’re doing and they seem to be listening at least feeling like I’m the authority. Bety could sense I’m getting stronger.
This makes me feelreally empowered and hopeful. Something I’venever gotten all this time from any professionals except Megan yesterday. I’mcomited to working with Megan I think she’ll get a lot out of learning about all this if she’s open to it. Plus I know I have other resources for this problem.
So shout out to Bety and Lisa! You’re saving my life and sanity.